Do not stand at my grave and weep.//  I am not there.  I do not sleep.//  I am a thousand winds that blow.//  I am the diamond glints on snow.//  I am the sunlight ripened grain.//  I am the gentle autumn rain.//  When you awaken in the morning’s hush// I am the swift uplifting rush// Of quiet white doves in circled flight.//  I am the soft stars that shine at night.// Do not stand at my grave and cry;// I am not there, I did not die.

People have been saying to me, “Doesn’t it feel like the first year just flies by?”  For me, the answer is no and I think the reason is because I was awake for the majority of it.  I can remember the days vividly, always watching the clock, making sure that the twins stayed on schedule because the idea of NEVER sleeping frightened me to my core.   I worried about them constantly.  Were they breathing at night, are they getting enough food, are they developing properly? All these things kept me awake quite a bit this year.  My sisters make motherhood look so easy.  I strive to be more like them, more calm and relaxed. I am getting better. Slowly (very slowly) but surely.  I am so thankful that we have such healthy babies but I am just as thankful for all the people who helped us to reach this milestone.  From the nurses and doctors in the hospital to our friends, families, and childcare givers who showered us with gifts, food, support and love.  We could not have done it without each and every one of you.   Thank you all so much!